It's official...soy un Americano!

Thanksgiving and Christmas

came early for me this year...

Finally, after 4241 days or
11 years, 7 months, and 9 days,
since I landed on U.S. soil,
with the intention of
permanently residing in the States,
I am now an American citizen!!!

My journey began when my Vietnamese prostitute mother, who managed to escape from the clutches of her Eurasian pimp, decided to give me up , so that I could have the chance for a better life in America. As Saigon burned and fell, she hurriedly handed me to an American G.I. soldier and pleaded to take me on board his helicopter. It proved to be a shaky escape and the turbulent flight caused me to be propelled outside the chopper and I fell out on to the sea. After several hours, I was then rescued by a boat filled with other fleeing refugees. Sadly, our boat sank when she hit an iceberg. I narrowly escaped drowning when someone flung me on top of an over-inflated tire interior. I floated across the ocean, paddling away from Havana hoping to land in Miami...but I somehow ended up in Mexico. Giving up every dollar my father had saved from the sale of our carabaos to some local "coyotes", just so that I could be smuggled by them into the States. They had me crawl my way through a small tunnel underground crossing the U.S.-Mexico border. Along with my newfound Hispanic friends, we ran across the unforgiving desert and fortunately were missed by the U.S. border patrol. Eventually, I made it to East L.A., sold fruits by the freeway, and slowly worked my way to the "waspy" Westside.
Oops...okay...okay...my juiced-up overactive imagination got the best of me and I once again got carried away.

My story was not that dramatic, but nevertheless was almost just as challenging...
As a son of an airline man, I was able to travel for free and visit the U.S.A. from my homeland, the Philippines, practically any summer I wanted. That was what America was to me...just a place to visit relatives and perhaps visit Mickey. I never dreamed or imagined that I would one day want to live in the United States. Had my parents been able to foresee the future, then my Mom could have easily come here and have given birth to me on U.S. soil. My Dad had two opportunities to become a U.S. citizen even before I was born, but never saw any reason to pursue it. When President Clinton signed the bill to make WWII veterans automatic citizens, my Dad decided to go for it for my sake. But alas, I was already over the cut-off age. Had it happened before my 21st birthday, then I would have automatically become a U.S. citizen along with my father.

Unlike millions of altruistic people from other developing countries, who make the sacrifice of leaving their homeland and everything behind, in search of a better life for themselves and their families, the catalyst that drove me to leave the Philippines was pretty lame. At a quarter of a century old, I found myself with a new job and a new love. A little more than four months later, all within the same day, before the first full weekend of the New Year 1995, I found myself all of a sudden jobless and single. I was fired from my job since my performance suffered due to spending so much of my energy on traveling back and forth from Manila to Hong Kong to feed this relationship. I was young and naive and made the mistake of having a long distance affair with someone who apparently was not worthy of my love. I discovered that my relationship had betrayed me by having dangerous liaisons with two other so-called friends of mine. Call it triple jeopardy or my own private soap opera. I was devastated and depressed for the next three months. I then knew that I needed a change of environment to get out of this rut. So I decided to use my very last free international airline ticket to take me across the Pacific Ocean to the U.S.A.. Yes, I was not "fresh off the boat"... I flew, first class delivery, no less...LOL. I was filled with champagne wishes and caviar dreams with only a pocket full of change and a "Hollywood or Bust" kind of attitude. I was full of excitement, even if it meant looking forward to a life without my nanny and maids...LOL

Even as I landed in Hawaii, I never had a clue that the next few years would be the most humbling experience of my lifetime. It was a struggle, but I believe it built my character. I've already given too much information (again), so I will just skip the sordid details. My family and most of my closest friends know what I had to go through to reach this point. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family and all my friends. I would like to especially thank some very special people who were an integral part of this journey: Paul T., who gave me an Aloha welcome during my stay in Hawaii; Carlos G. for taking care of me while I was in San Francisco and giving me the skills to survive in Amerika, such as how to cook rice and Filipino dishes; Jerz, for being like a "mother" away from home; Jesse Z. for showing me how hard work in Amerika pays off; Phillip G. for offering me a sofa to sleep on during my time in San Francisco; my twin cousin Robin and my relatives in Redwood City; Jojo S. for our joint venture in CiBa; my sweetie for giving me the key to my dreams; and last but not the least, my Bill, who saved me in more ways than he will ever know. Oh I guess, I should also thank my former employers at the sweatshops and the immigration lawyers, who gave me the opportunity to contribute to their children's college funds...LOL

My oath taking happened sooner than expected. It was held at the Fairplex in Pomona, California, which is like 50 miles away from home. USCIS, never seems to want to make it easy for me. My appointment was at 8AM. In spite of the fact that we left the house very early, we were late due to inaccurate mapquest directions and over-congested traffic.
I figured that there would be several Filipinos, and therefore could relax at the big possibility that I wasn't the only one running on "Filipino time"...LOL.
There were 3025 people who were going to be naturalized in my batch. The top five biggest ethnic groups who were going to become Americans that morning were from 1. Mexico, 2. Philippines, 3. El Salvador, 4. Iran, 5. Vietnam. Mexico has always beaten the Philippines in this game.
Two days later, Philippines would beat Mexico, only this time it would be in the super featherweight boxing match, where my countryman, Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao knocked-out Erik "El Terrible" Morales III on the third round.
Oh I digressed...anyway...back to me...LOL.
I didn't foresee that it was going to be such an emotional moment for me. When the judge started swearing us in and told all of us that she was keenly aware of how long most of us have waited for this day to come, and the hardships that most of us had to endure and overcome...I started to shed a tear and balanced it on my right cheek and dabbed it as it hit my right dimple...LOL.
Bill, my friend Jojo S., who was visiting from Manila, and his mother, Tita Mely, were there to share this joyous moment with me. I was very happy!
I found it funny when they announced, "You can choose to change your name legally, if it is too long, too hard to pronounce...", and I found it ironic when they continued by saying, "...or if you want it to sound more American." More American!..what is that supposed to mean?...You just told us we were now Americans...LOL.
The lady who handed my certificate was an African American, and she said, "Oh, how nice, you legally changed your Japanese name to that of Puff Daddy's!". I had to tell her, "No madame, I am not Japanese, and that is indeed my real name...I am the original Sean John, since I am older than P. Diddy by 73 days!".
Now that I am an American, I can be arrested for lewd conduct or indecent exposure, and no longer have the fear of being deported...LOL. (just kidding, mother!)
I continue to pray for several family & friends of mine, who are not yet fully settled or do not have their papers in order. Hang in there...your time will come soon...I know it will.
Coming to America made me appreciate and value my Philippine heritage, identity, history, culture, and food, etc., even more.
I will always be proud to be a Filipino and do miss my homeland, but at least, as a citizen of the U.S.A., I now can contribute to the future of the place I now have called home.

Among the sea of U.S. flag-waiving former second-class citizens,

now my fellow Americans

WANTED
Newbie U.S. CitizenWanted: for jury duty.
Wanted: by The Republican Party.
(They need your vote now more than ever.)
Wanted: to bear arms for the misguided war in Iraq.

What's in a name, What's in a title?

I'm experimenting with a new title to my blog, another word play using my name with the concept of TMI, "Too Much Inform-a-Sean". I think it is also apropos for my blog, since my friends have been teasing me for what they deem as a strong propensity for sharing too many details...LOL
For now, I am retiring my original title, "Memoirs of a Gay-Sean", which was a play on words from the novel/movie, "Memoirs of a Geisha". I believed then (and continue to believe) that it is an appropriate title for my blog, since this was about sharing stories of my life anyway. I assumed that everyone, in my circle, at least, would get the joke and see the humor in it. Unfortunately, not all did. The supposedly witty title was to showcase more of my sense of humor, instead of being miscontrued as an advertisement or propoganda of my sexuality. There is certianly more to me than my sexual orientation. I had to realize the hard way that the world is not yet ready for such openness. I had to acquiesce to the fact that I have a lot of people in my milieu, whom I love unconditionally, who have more conservative political and religious leanings. Sharing was for me a means to give joy and to get it back in return, not heartache... no, not heartache. In my younger days, I would automatically rebel, but now that I'm older (and hopefully more mature) , I am learning to conform for the greater good...or is it the lesser evil(?).

iPostcards from Cambodia-Vietnam-Singapore-Taiwan

Under Construction - Coming Soon!

***

We're back!
Had a fabulous time!
It was an eye-opening trip of a lifetime!
Will share postcards/travelogue/pictures soon.

CAMBODIA

VIETNAM

SINGAPORE

TAIWAN

Out on my vaca-SEAN/SABA-tical

I will be out of the country on my

vaca-SEAN/SABA-tical
in Singapore-Vietnam-Cambodia
from 14OCT-27OCT.
In case of emergency, please contact my manager/agent/publicist.

My U.S. Citizenship Exam/Interview

Thanks to short-term memory, I now know more of U.S. history and government than most native-born Americans, and/or those raised and educated in this country!
I passed my U.S. citizenship exam with flying colors of red, white, & blue and got a perfect score!

The immigration officer who conducted my exam/interview was a fellow Filipino, but unfortunately, instead of being nice, turned our to be a big jerk.
Blame it on "crab mentality", I guess.
He questioned me with a cloud of suspicion from the very get-go.
It's a good thing I was quite confident with my responses,
and my memory of my past answers and details served me well. I was nothing like the nervous wreck that I was during my greencard interview more than five years ago...LOL.

He then asked me if I was interested in changing my name legally. Hmmm...Sean Gates or Sean Buffett doesn't sound bad for an Ameican name, I thought for a very brief moment...
Nah...my family would never forgive me. Besides, never say never, there is still that chance that I may be able to sire a son one day who will carry on my family name.

For the English speaking/writing test, I was flabbergasted to be asked to write the very simple sentence, "I enjoy going shopping everyday." Gosh...and here I was ready to recite the Gettysburg Address to him.
I was also as ready as any bad American Idol hopeful, to belt out The Star-Spangled Banner. Apparently, it wasn't a requirement...LOL.

After passing all the requirements, I was then informed that my oath taking will be scheduled for 25OCT. Shucks! I told him I couldn't make it, since I am due to be back from my vaca-sean in Indochina on 27OCT. I requested if I could be rescheduled on the next one.
He taunted me by asking, "Why don't you cancel your trip?, What is more important, being a U.S. citizen or your vacation?!...Okay, I will indicate here that you don't want to take the oath!"
No, it's not that I don't, but rather I can't, sir!, I politely but firmly responded.
"Well, this can create a problem for your application and it might take another six months to a year before you get a notice.", he further teased. It seemed like this man was in the mood to try to push my buttons, so I played it cool.
Oh well, I'll just have to wait for the next scheduled oath taking.
Hopefully it happens before the general elections on 07NOV.

It is so ironic...one of the reasons I wanted so badly to become a U.S. citizen a.s.a.p., aside from having the right to vote, was so that I could travel with a blue U.S. passport, to avoid visa requirements to most world travel destin-a-SEANs.
And here I am going to travel using my newly renewed Philippine passport to go visit Vietnam & Cambodia, both of which do not require a visa for citizens of the Philippines and other ASEAN na-seans. Bill and my other American friends/travel companions, on the other hand, are required to have one for each.
So it worked out perfectly in the end.

The American-iza-SEAN of moi is near!

From Lady Bug to Lady Liberty

Alas, sadly the time has come to return "Brooke", my Blue Lagoon Metallic 2003 VW New Beetle GLS Turbo, after a three-year-long love affair, and get a brand new car...

I grew up learning how to drive with a "Bug". My parents got me a White 1970 model, a Herbie look-a-like, shortly after I was born. As soon as my high school buddies and I had learned how to drive, they would frequently tease me, "Here comes Sean again, driving "The Egg"!".

Six years ago, when I finally got tired of spending four hours a day taking the bus to/from work in spread-out Los Angeles, I decided to get my first car in the U.S.A..
Wanting to stick with tradition, I got and drove, for the next three years, a fully loaded New Volkswagen Beetle,
"Coby", my Cool Cobalt Blue 2001 VW New Beetle GLX Turbo.

Now, after having three "Pods" in a row, and with the latest models not having the turbo engine anymore, I felt it was time to go with something higher (No, not all Asians like their cars lowered...LOL), has side protection (since I drive to work via a shortcut through the "ghetto" filled with uninsured motorists), and a pop-up back window (so that my dogs could ride with me). I wanted something affordable and easy, small but cute, rugged on the outside but sophisticated in the inside, high maintenance but reliable, has a sexy body in spite of high fuel consumption...Oh darn, I'm talking about myself again! Well, they say, "You are what you drive!"...LOL. I wanted a small SUV that was fully loaded with all the bells & whistles, and high-end exterior/interior add-ons, which came only in the limited edition. Even if I am not from San Francisco, I still like my leather, so my car seats had to be in leather. After several weeks of researching, test driving, pitting dealers against each other...with my surprisingly impressive credit score, my publicist/agent/manager was able to negotiate the best deal, and I finally got my new baby...

Presenting my
2006 Jeep Liberty Limited,

"Robin", my Little Red Riding Hood!...

FrontBack
safe in her new home

out with the old, in with the new

Yup, I broke the VW and the "blue" cycle. I am really not a "red" kind of guy, but I really liked this Inferno Red Crystal Pearl coat. She's gorgeous! I was going to name her "Rosie", since she's pretty like the flower, but she then might be seen as a certain abrasive butch lesbian celebrity. So, I named her "Robin" 'cuz I wanted a name that is androgynous: Colorful like the bird, feminine and strong like a red-lipstick lesbian, but masculine and athletic like the Boy Wonder...LOL.

Corner Office, but still no Ocean View

It's been a month now, since my boss, on the very last minute, promoted me by exiling me to another office, to salvage the possibility of losing a major law firm account. As soon as I got back from my mini vacation, I was shipped seven blocks away, demoted to a lower floor, but given a corner office. The only people in this firm who get a corner office in the entire building are the partners. Well, who was I to complain, since I did not have to make partner and even go to law school, for that matter, to get my corner. I even have a bigger office than some of my neighboring attorneys. My only complaint is that I still do not have my requested ocean view. I guess it is an impossible request, if one's office is in downtown Los Angeles. For now my view is a construction site of another future condo, the old Hotel Figueroa (which side wall is used for movie promos), the Staples Center, the L.A. Convention Center, the 110 Pasadena/Harbor Freeway, and the infamous L.A. smog.

The dress code in this trial law firm is so laid-back, it is almost difficult to differentiate the mailroom boy from a partner who is wearing a torn vintage T-shirt, cargo pants, and flip-flops. They change to their power suits only when they travel, go to court or meet with clients. Even if I like dressing up, I find it such a refreshing change. I guess I'll just have to adapt and update my homey wardrobe for casual Mondays to Fridays.

I find myself busier than ever and more stressed, taking no breaks, leaving the office late, skipping the gym, having dinner very late, and losing sleep. At this pace, the firm had better give me my ocean view, or else!...LOL.

Age is just another number

I do not know what happened, but when I turned 29, something suddenly changed...I stopped being carded to check if I was 21 or older, when I would enter a bar/club and/or order a cocktail. Once my age number surpassed my waistline number, which I proudly maintained since college, I got the feeling that it was the sign that it was all going downhill from there.
Then when I turned 35, commercialism made me keenly aware that I was no longer part of the marketable young demographic.
Nowadays, I have to stop and think to remember how old I actually am. It now seems just like any other number...
I guess until I reach the Big 4-0.
Now at my age, especially since I came to my parents' lives, with my mother having just turned 41, I feel simply blessed to still have them with me. Fortunately, they are still relatively quite healthy in their late 70s-mid 80s. However, that does not stop me from worrying about my elderly parents since the vast Pacific separates us. It's a good thing that my father has this lifetime benefit, for both my mom and himself, of flying first class free during their lifetime, after my dad retired from the airline. Thus they are able to visit their kids abroad at their pleasure. I have not seen my Dad in a year and my Mom in two, so my birthday was extra special, since they decided to fly over here to be with my sister, Bill, and me, for our successive birthdays in August.
That's the best gift I could have asked for!

iPostcards from Maine & Vermont

We're back!
Had a fabulous time!
Please click on the following destinations to be directed to the specific posting:

Portland

Peaks Island, ME

Kennebunkport, ME

Ogunquit, ME

Pittsfield, VT

iPostcards from Maine

Under Construction - Coming Soon!

iPostcards from Vermont

Under Construction - Coming Soon!

11 on the 11th

Bill and I are celebrating our 11th anniversary today!
That's more than a decade! That's 77 in gay dog years! Now, whoever said that I was unlovable and that same sex relationships can't/don't last beyond one night to six months?!?
We now have surpassed millions of breeder couplings who have either ended their marriage in divorce, legal separation,...or (as in the case of some of my fellow Roman Catholics) annulments!
In a little more than a week, we will be headed for Vermont. No, not to get married or anything like that. We're going to attend the wedding of Bill's nephew, Kaya, to his beautiful fiance, Kelley, which happens to fall on Bill's birthday.
The blessing of our own union will just have to wait until the powers that be allow us to live in a more beautiful, educated, and enlightened world.

Leaving my mark in "Amerika"

I apparently received a one-week notice for an appointment to have my fingerprinting done in connection with my U.S. citizenship application, during the period that I was out of town. By the time I opened the letter, the date had already passed and now I was at risk of having my application delayed even further. I immediately wrote a letter of complaint to the USCIS, explaining why I missed it, that they should have given me a more advanced notice, and that they therefore should now expedite my application. I marched to the nearest immigration application center ready to do battle. I was surprised to be greeted by a friendly clerk, who simply said, "Well you're in luck, today is a slow day, and we can take you right this moment".
I imagined with the modern infra-red photo-technology, this was going to be a quick, clean and painless procedure. I was wrong. It took an average of seven swipes per finger to get a good read. I could see the officer was getting frustrated as she painfully kept wiping my finger with a wet cloth to moisten it. She then asked me, "What kind of work do you do?!?". Oh boy, I knew what she was actually trying to say behind that question. She meant that the reason my prints were not registering properly is perhaps due to my hands seemingly being drier than that of a common farmer's daughter. I came to America with skin as soft as a baby's butt. Now after 11 years of life in America without affordable household help; I am only left with a memory of my once soft and smooth hands. The officer had to ask a supervisor to approve my fingerprint readings and override the system to finally accept them as passable. I was so apologetic to them. They eventually gave me a smile to appease my embarrassment. I hollered back at them, "I swear, I moisturize my hands at least 6 times a day!". Not realizing then that I sounded more like a horny teenager confessing that he has been up to no good...LOL.

A.B.C. of A.B.C.

Last April, I got a clean bill of health from my doctor, during my annual physical.
But last June I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, which is a disease that mainly affects the lungs.
Call it coincidental, psychosomatic, or blame it on the "Brokeheart Mountain" in my chest, I have been bogged down by A Bad Case of A "Bulldogged" Cough for these past six weeks. My throat is not sore, but I have lost my normal voice because of it. I really have not been expectorating any phlegm, but the few times I did, it was tinged with blood.
According to my mother, asthma, bronchopneumonia, chronic bronchitis run in my family's health history. My doctors were concerned that it might be tuberculosis, simply on the account that I was born and raised in a third world/developing country. All of the test results came back negative and all of these diseases, including mold and allergies, have all been weeded out.
I then went through a barrage of pulmonary tests and fortunately my chest and breathing results came back normal.
Here is hoping that it is just some quirky summer allergy and I get better soon...

P.S. I guess I have to note that I am HIV negative, just in case you are one of those types who narrow-mindedly do the math and think: "gay man + sickness = must have AIDS" , and might unnecessarily worry about me.

iPostcards from Rogue River, OR - "The Devil does the River Wild "

Long before Meryl, played the ruthless and cynical Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada" in 2006, she did "The River Wild" in 1994 with Kevin Bacon...

We flew up to Oregon, where Bill's mother and one of his brothers live, for a family reunion and to celebrate another brother's milestone birthday. To save on the air fare we decided to fly on Alaska Airlines/Horizon Air. Big mistake! Once we got there, not all of our luggage had arrived with us. It immediately put a damper on and stopper to our activities for the next 28 hours. That's how long it took for the airline to deliver our missed luggage & golf bag.
So the highlight of our first day was having to buy toiletries and clothes at the local Walmart. I never imagined that I would have so much fun at a store like Walmart!...LOL.

For X'mas 2000, I took Bill's one and only niece, Carley, to the Philippines, to meet my friends & family, and experience the beauty and culture of my homeland.
This time around, my own niece, Czarina, was with me.
I was so excited for her to experience my partner's beautiful and loving family. It was great to see everyone again. It has been exactly 10 years since I was first introduced to them after Bill came out to his family six months prior.

One of the highlights of this trip was a full day of wild river kayaking on the Rouge River, same river where "The River Wild" was filmed. So just like some of Meryl's characters, I too enjoy fashion, but also enjoy the great outdoors.

Puff Daddy's namesake longs to be a daddy!

In case, you do not know who Puff Daddy is, he is a lot of things. But to me, he is merely the man who uses my name for his hip-hop fashion line, Sean John.
Had I known this during the beginnings of the Internet, I should have immediately registered that domain name. He would then have to pay me "mucho dinero" to use it. Unlike Madonna or Sting, who sued others using domain names with their name on it; he cannot sue me, since it is my real name and besides...I'm several weeks older than him. Damn, I would have had a better chance of getting rich this way than winning the lottery...LOL.
Most hip-hop clothes are so oversized/supersized, and unfortunately for me, P. Diddy's line is no exception. I am not one who is into labels, but had his design style fit mine, I wouldn't mind receiving gifts from JLo's ex. I guess I can always try the accessories...LOL.

***

Since I was 10 years old, helping my sister raise my parents' first grandchild, I knew I was good with children. When my peers were starting to become parents in high school, college, in our early and late 20's, that obviously was not in the cards of my life plan. As I hit my thirties, somehow my body clock started ticking. I started yearning to become a father. I even went out and bought a brand new blender and turkey baster, just in case we found the right surrogate...LOL. My life partner, who was a teacher and coach early in his career, is equally, if not better than me when it comes to kids. Unfortunately, he worries that he may have already passed his best years to share in the physical joys of fatherhood. Eventually, it did not matter to us if the child was biologically one of ours, since there are so many precious children who need a loving home. When I hear about kids being born to couples/families with a unstable home, I more so feel we deserve to be given that chance.

We may never be ready for that possible opportunity or if that opportunity will ever be even given to us. But I do know one thing. I will make sure I will be do my best to be a good father to that blessing.

***

GLMA Hails Groundbreaking Report Finding That
Children Benefit When Their Same Sex Parents' Relationships
Are Legally Recognized.
Report appears in July issue of Pediatrics,
the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

source
c/o Dr. Constantine Azarcon M.D.

My Brokeheart Mountain

In my experience, if you are gay, "coming out of the closet" is either a non-issue, a never-ending saga, or totally out of the question. I have a lot of my friends, who are like Tom C., who are still deep inside the closet for their own personal reasons. Those dear to them have either no idea, or have never given them the opportunity for them to open it up for discussion.

The ball of my coming out started rolling when I was in college, when my third older sister confronted me one day, after having my nanny spy on my late nite goings & comings and received a final report as to who was picking me up and driving me home. I blatantly and swiftly answered her unexpected inquiry. I even surprised myself, since this was the first time in my life that I said the words, "gay" and "boyfriend" within one sentence in reference to myself. And so the never ending saga of coming out started.

Eleven years ago, when I moved to the U.S. with the plan of settling in the East Coast, where my eldest sister and older brother live, I had no choice but to tell them the reason as to why I decided to settle in L.A. instead. After coming out to my two siblings, the last of the family members to receive the news, I knew the hardest part of coming out was behind me and that for any future friendships, my sexual orientation would not be an issue.

Coming out is never easy on either party. I know my family was initially heartbroken. My one and only brother was devastated. I broke his heart when I told him that it was up to him to carry on the family's last name, so he had better have a son once he decided to start his own family. I was comforted to hear from his wife that he said, "Well, what can I do, he is my brother, and I love him.". That positive notion carried me over all these years.

Now, more than a decade later, it was my turn to get my heart broken. This personal blog of mine, which was a means for me to share my life with my family & friends, has inadvertently forced my brother to come out to me as a "Bush-supporting, conservative, right wing, religious right, Republican bigot".
If you're interested in reading what he wrote to me, click HERE.
If you're interested in reading how I responded, please click HERE.
If after reading his letter, you find yourself unperturbed and concur with his ideas, please let me know, so I can decide how to proceed with our relationship.
Thank you.

Addressing my brother

My dear brother,

Thank you for finally expressing what is hidden in the darkest recesses of your mind and heart. It must have been such a heavy cross to bear have to have all of these bottled up inside for more than a decade. At least, I did not have to wait to be on my dying bed to hear words that many people fail to exchange or relay in their lifetime.Well, I too, love you very much!But you already know that, and I am one who has never had any difficulty expressing it to anyone with whom I share these feelings. However, it is sad and unfortunate that you chose to use these precious loving words to sandwich a body of text fraught with ignorance as your glib response to my sharing of my so called "wrong" life in my blog.Did you really think that starting and ending your letter like this would soften the blow of your coming out as a "Bush-supporting, conservative, right wing, religious right, Republican bigot"?

I decided to wait a few days to process my thoughts, so as not to be so reactive and hopefully be more proactive in my unsolicited rebuttal.

As you may know, a blog is an online journal/diary/personal chronological log of thoughts which often reflects the personality of the author. It is a modern means for me to share my thoughts and experiences mainly to a selected group of people, namely my family and my friends.
Contrary to what you think, my blog is not an "advertisement of my being gay". Since it is about my life, I took advantage of playing with the title of a contemporary novel and film, "Memoirs of a Geisha". Mom and Bill both did express their trepidation with the use of the word "gay" in my title. Part of their reasons is that they felt that it may limit my accepting audience and may alienate others from my position. Having a mind of my own, I obviously ignored their discomfort, since I saw nothing wrong in the use of the term because simply I believe “there is nothing wrong with the term”, and everyone in my target audience knows that I am gay, anyway. I was not about to give in and compromise who I am and also sacrifice my creative freedom and wit. Now, being gay is just part of who I am. It is not all of who I am. Among others, my blog also shows that I am a son/brother/uncle/friend who believes that most of the goodness in him comes from his parents and his family, that I am a romantic who loves to write poems and songs about his loved ones, that I am someone, just like most people, whose interests also involves animals/sports/music/travel/culture, and that I am someone who can make light of some things in life and have a sense of humor about it.

Now, about politicizing my sexual orientation by "influencing" others about my plight... It just so happens that the recent events happening in the US were riddled with issues that are, without a doubt, close to my heart; such as immigration and gay/equal rights. I am not one who enjoys discussing politics and certainly do not claim to be an authority to have such power to influence one's proclivities. I was merely presenting topics that affect me personally and have no problem opening myself up to others. And yes, sharing them may "enlighten" some other's views because of their association with me. My network of contacts in my addressbook are brimming with people from all walks of life from older to younger, from the dirt poor to the very rich, from the jobless to the ones who don't need to work, from the fittest to the dying a slow death, liberal to conservative, democrat to republican, white to black, gay to straight and yes, also everything "in between". With some of these connections, because of simply knowing me and the goodness I have shown to them, they have now changed their preconceived notions of Filipinos, Asians, Catholics, and/or Gays. I firmly believe that even if one was raised a bigot, in time, if one is willing to have an open mind and is given the opportunity to be able to create meaningful connections with a person or more from various groups of a different race, religion, politics, or sexual orientation; one's partiality to one's own group eventually weakens and one understands the other better. I find myself disconcerted to realize that this apparently has not worked for some members of my family, who incontestably have known me the longest, and presumably wished only for my happiness.

Now, allow me to address your disordered dogmatism in the disorganized manner in which it was presented.

I find your misuse of a lot of terms, especially "male" and "female" very amusing. Gender is not synonymous to sexual orientation or sexual identity. I can only surmise that what you really were trying to infer about “me not seeing any other males/females seeking identity” is that heterosexuals do not feel the need to flaunt their lifestyle. This is quite understandable since they obviously do not belong to the marginalized minority. If a straight couple got married and eventually gave birth to their first child and shared their joys of matrimony and parenthood in an email or blog, should all childless unable-to-marry same-sex couples in their circle be offended and take that as "heterosexuals seeking their identity”?

Your reference to me being what I am is based on the "choices" that I have made is totally revolting and lacking in any scientific or empirical input and is utterly unintelligent and backward in thinking. It reeks of leanings toward nurture in the nature vs. nurture debate. You say "you cannot judge me for the choices I've made in my life", and yet YOU DID...and in the same breath, "you can tell me what "IS" right and wrong, like it was some absolute truth...Well, there is no absolute to what "IS", only what you "BELIEVE IS"!I'm not too clear on what you claim is wrong, being gay or politicizing gay issues? I sure pray that it is the latter.
When and how I communicate to my God is between me and my God and no one else. The last time I listened to the word of God, the sermon was about, "Judge not, lest you be judged.".

Even when we were growing up, you were always the more conservative one. I know you have voted Republican in the past. But what I didn't know, and was not prepared for, was to discover how extreme far out over the top right wing you are. Perhaps your political pundit (who as I last read was inching towards Richard Nixon's depth in the polls of approval) will enlighten you on what is "wrong and right" the next time he opens his mouth to switch feet.

There is an obvious disconnect in your argument.What I was opposed to was the Federal Marriage Amendment or "Marriage Protection Amendment", which proposes to amend the U.S. Constitution which would define marriage in the U.S. as a union of one man and one woman. This in turn would prevent legislative or judicial extension of marriage-like rights to same-sex couples or other unmarried persons. Without marriage, neither partner in a relationship, whether straight or gay, has any legal right to (just to name a few) joint parenting or adoption; next-of-kin access and decision-making in serious medical situations; joint insurance policies and leases; inheritance through right of survivorship; benefits such as annuities, pension, Social Security and Medicaid; veterans' discounts on medical care, education and home loans; or bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child.
I certainly, in this matter, was not talking about modifying the definition of marriage as it is defined in the dictionary or in man's interpretation of the modern bible. The founding fathers of this country were outspoken proponents of the separation of church and state. I'm not talking about religion and walking down the aisle together. I'm talking about secular legal rights here. If government suddenly made an amendment that dictated that if you passed away before your wife, she was not going to receive any of your social security benefits, would that seem fair? Wouldn't you like your brother to experience the joys of fatherhood like you do, if ever he wanted to take advantage of such an opportunity to adopt?

The rest of your text covering marriage to kin and dogs and so forth sounds like a thrown out drafted speech from a religious right/Christian coalition meeting and is purely asinine and equivocal, and I will not waste my time by making a go at it and confound the writer.

Please do not make blanket statements and speak for others. If Mom and Dad have “tolerated what has become of me” because of indebtedness to Bill, I'm afraid to imagine what kind of relationship I would currently have with my parents had I not met Bill. How can you expect one to argue a debate statement like “the act is wrong” when it is presented once again as an absolute. You never even once attempted to express your thoughts as an “opinion” by using words like, “I believe, think, feel” which you should have, since your thoughts are not substantiated by positive knowledge of proof. You use the teachings of the religion with which you were raised, as the backbone of your thesis without opening yourself to other channels of research.

You bet I discussed this with Bill, not that I need to, but I want to. He is after all, my partner in life. And what do you mean by “think for yourself for a change”. I always think for myself. That's why, like any “normal” couple, we discuss but do not always agree on things. Did you share the contents of this email with your wife? Even if you may share the same values and beliefs, I highly doubt that she would have been in favor of sending your email written as it was. If you did, I would be equally as flabbergasted and disappointed in her. Even if I am not legally married to my partner, it is conspicuous I know a thing or two about being married that you have overlooked.

Finally, I was not "shoving" my lifestyle at you but was simply sharing my life. I admit, I used certain words in my blog to insinuate my disgust in certain policies by the GOP that may have "trampled" on your beliefs. I "know" that man's interpretation of the scriptures of the guidebook of the religion with which we were raised says that I can be "myself" but how I express my love in action is what is "wrong". My knowing that there is nothing wrong with how I was born and how I choose to act on it, is the very reason why I cannot continue being a fanatic follower of my religion. Do not dare misconstrue this as equating to me not having a spiritual relationship with my Creator.

So where do we go from here?
We can continue to love each other "unconditionally", but respect each other's differences without expecting to mold the other in their image.With regards to my blog (that's what it is...Sean's Blog) ...
do what I do when I receive emailed chain letters that expect forwarding ...I ignore and/or delete them.
If you do not like what you see in television, you are always free to change the channel or turn the TV off.
We always have a "choice", and that is using the word in a proper way.

Love,


Sean

My brother's Coming Out as a Bush-supporting, conservative, right wing, religious right, Republican bigot

Dear Sean,

I am not the best writer in the family, but I guess I am writing what needs to be said.First of all I want to let you know that I love you very much. I just cannot understand why you have to politicize your sexual orientation by influencing others about your plight; your feelings of gross inequity through your blogspot. You do not see me or any other male or your sisters or any other female seeking an identity of being a male or a female. We are what we are, and you are what you are based on the choices you made.

I cannot judge you for the choices you make in life. But I can tell you what is right and wrong, black and white, positive and negative. I cannot support and say and stand idle and accept what you are doing is right, because it is wrong. When was the last time you prayed or even listened at least to the word of God?

My gosh Sean, God made a Man and a Woman, anything in between I am sorry to say is an anomaly. I am not a perfect person myself, but I can distinguish and acknowledge when I do something wrong. This is the problem with society nowadays. For the sake of convenience, people tend to accept even the wrong things because it might offend those who believe in it.

What next? With your plight to seek equality by changing the definition of a marriage is unnecessary. Why do you have to get married? Isn't their simply a law that protects you or your life partners interests? Why tamper with the definition of marriage defined simply as the union between a man and a woman. So you group wins for example. What now? Will it be deemed unconstitutional to ban a gay marriage in a catholic church? Will it be unconstitutional to ban a son from marrying his mom or sister? a daughter fro marrying his dad or brother? Will it be unconstitutional to ban a man from marrying a dog and having sex with it to bear babies? mongrels if possible? Will it be unconstitutional not to provide medicine or body parts from clones because it is against Catholic beliefs to save a life or provide a cure? It is absurd. This should stop! It is wrong! I am not saying this just because I am a right wing, Bush-supporting conservative Catholic Republican. I am saying this because I have a moral duty to tell you so.

You know, I guess Mom and Dad tolerated what has become of you because they feel indebted to Bill for helping you, Sari and even Ina out. God bless him for being a good person. Unfortunately, the act is wrong. Now I bet you, you are going to discuss this with Bill as you feel the need to. Think for yourself for a change, and keep it within family.

Sean, remember one thing. I love you too no matter what you are. Just do not shove or trample what I believe in as well. Why do you have to advertise that you are gay? You are gay and be happy as is, but know and acknowledge what is right and what is wrong.


Love,


your dear brother