Leaving my mark in "Amerika"

I apparently received a one-week notice for an appointment to have my fingerprinting done in connection with my U.S. citizenship application, during the period that I was out of town. By the time I opened the letter, the date had already passed and now I was at risk of having my application delayed even further. I immediately wrote a letter of complaint to the USCIS, explaining why I missed it, that they should have given me a more advanced notice, and that they therefore should now expedite my application. I marched to the nearest immigration application center ready to do battle. I was surprised to be greeted by a friendly clerk, who simply said, "Well you're in luck, today is a slow day, and we can take you right this moment".
I imagined with the modern infra-red photo-technology, this was going to be a quick, clean and painless procedure. I was wrong. It took an average of seven swipes per finger to get a good read. I could see the officer was getting frustrated as she painfully kept wiping my finger with a wet cloth to moisten it. She then asked me, "What kind of work do you do?!?". Oh boy, I knew what she was actually trying to say behind that question. She meant that the reason my prints were not registering properly is perhaps due to my hands seemingly being drier than that of a common farmer's daughter. I came to America with skin as soft as a baby's butt. Now after 11 years of life in America without affordable household help; I am only left with a memory of my once soft and smooth hands. The officer had to ask a supervisor to approve my fingerprint readings and override the system to finally accept them as passable. I was so apologetic to them. They eventually gave me a smile to appease my embarrassment. I hollered back at them, "I swear, I moisturize my hands at least 6 times a day!". Not realizing then that I sounded more like a horny teenager confessing that he has been up to no good...LOL.