The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Happy 40th Birthday to me!

I'm a Survivor!...well, we'll see

End of the Year Newsletter 2008

I really was not looking forward to 2008 in the beginning of the new year for reasons that may read morbid.

Both Bill's and my parents are all octogenarians and were undergoing some health issues in 2007.

I have friends who also have some major health issues.

Our eldest dog, Besi, in July 2007, was given a few weeks/months to live due to being diagnosed with degenerative myelopathy.

So, as you can imagine, we were dead scared that 2008 had the potential to be a very sad year.

Unfortunately, we did lose Bill's stepdad, Roy, to bladder cancer early in the year and

an uncle of mine to heart failure and our goddog, Jack to pancreatitis, late in the year.

Fortunately, we still have his mom, Mabel, and both my parents alive and healthy.
Now, they all are stable and doing very well.

Besi, miraculously, with medication, exercise, and lots of love, is somehow better than ever and acts like a 12 1/2-year old puppy. Birdie turned 10, but still acts like a puppy. We also found a new puppy Maltese (who got lost during the L.A. earthquake), Sachi, for my niece to adopt. This year marked 10 years since we lost Koko in that tragic drowning accident.

This year also marked the start of my last year as a 30-something, and Bill had his big birthday. We celebrated 13 years of togetherness.

We decided to postpone our decision to get married or not until the end result of the elections.
As a 2-year old U.S. citizen, I was very excited to vote for the first time in my life.

The election result was bittersweet. We cried with tears of joy & hope with Obama's win and

cried with tears of sadness & disbelief with the passing of Prop 8.

Since 2007, I had already saved all my vacation days mainly for a trip back to my homeland, the Philippines, towards the end of the year 2008. We were planning to have a family reunion for X'mas back home to also celebrate my Mom's 80th birthday and my parents' 60th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, for various reasons, the family had to postpone all plans.

So at the last minute, I planned our main big vaca-sean this year to Ecuador and Peru. I mainly pushed for these destinations, since I gathered that their respective tourism boards were looking into limiting tourist access to the world wonders, the Galapagos Islands and Machu Picchu by the end of 2009. We had a blast! We also made some domestic trips to Chicago, Monterey, San Francisco, New York, and San Diego.

With the crashing of the market/global economic crisis, Bill was extremely busy, since all his clients were naturally in a state of panic. My company unfortunately had to lay-off some people. I am grateful that I was not one of the unfortunate few.

Here's wishing that things will turn out okay and be better for all of us in the new year.

Diary of a 39-year-old first-time voter

I am a bit embarrassed and yet at the same time very proud to admit that this is my first time to vote in my life. From the time I was eligible to vote at age 18 and left my beautiful homeland, the Philippines, at age 25, I failed to vote on only one Presidential Election. My memory as to why I did not vote during that election where Fidel V. Ramos won the Philippine presidency has completely abandoned the inner recesses of my brain. The succeeding 11 years marked my journey of being a citizen living away from his motherland and my struggle of trying to belong to the land I now called home. Exactly two years ago, I finally became a U.S. citizen, and since then I have been looking forward to this day when I finally get to exercise my right to vote.
I set my alarm to go off unusually very early today and was planning to be there when the polls opened at 7AM. Bill convinced me to wait after 9AM, when most likely most of those who have to drive to work would have already voted and left. I was very anxious to go and worried that there might be a very long line and would have to eventually call in late for work, but I gave in to trusting his experience. He was right. Damn! I was in and out of there in 10 minutes. Woohoo! I am very excited to be part of this historic U.S. elections.

"really" putting country first and
hoping for the change we can believe in

no question about it

Voting "NO" on Prop 8

voting for equality and against discrimination

casting my ballot

I am optimistic that we will be celebrating tonight!

This could be the future, had I not voted:

The day I left my balls with the angels

I can't believe it's been 5 years,
since the day I thought we were going to die! ... LOL

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you!"

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A Different Coming Out of the Closet

OK, I admit it, I am a "pack rat". I have the tendency to keep almost every single little thing I come across in my life. This, of course, drives my super neat freak partner bananas.
Well, since we have been practically living out of boxes for the past several weeks, due to moving/storing most of our stuff for the painting of the inside of the house, I figured this would be the best time to admit myself to my own version of "pack rat rehab".
I did it! In the course of several days, I finally learned to let go of a lot of my personal junk and donate them to thrift shops. I came out of my closet and cleaned it out. Included in the several trash bags were very old clothes that I had brought with me on my move to the U.S. more than 12 years ago. I think, the clincher in letting go was when I discovered that I could no longer fit into all my size 28-inch waistline jeans. Waaahhh! LOL

A Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On

Close to midnight on the day after Christmas Day of 2006, we were jolted out of bed hearing the doorbell frantically ringing. I peeped out the window, and saw a dirty gaunt man shivering in the night. I called out to him and he hollered back my name. I rushed downstairs to see who it was. It took me awhile to recognize this homeless-looking man, whose first words were, "Help me, I'm dying...". I was shocked to realize that it was our old friend, Mike Pohjola, who also happens to be the builder of our house. Bill and he had a falling out about five years ago and we had no knowledge of his whereabouts and how to contact him. The last time we saw him, he was starting to have the early signs of Parkinson's disease. Now, here we were opening the gate to allow him to come in. He could not walk straight and stop shaking. The disease obviously was already in its late stages. His appearance matched his current living conditions, since he apparently had recently come back to L.A. and was living out on the streets.
Since he is our friend and being that it was the Yuletide Season, we welcomed him to our home and let him stay with us. We went through the process of buying him new clothes and footwear, treating him to spa treatments, etc., to at least get him cleaned up and to resemble his old self. As the days passed, we grew more exhausted than the day before. It was evident that we were not capable of taking care of him. He needed 24/7 assisted living and professional attention. For the next months we assisted him in his medical/financial affairs and getting him placed in a nursing facility. We try our best to spend most of our free time visiting him. With this experience, I tip my hat off to all doctors, nurses, and care-givers for what they do on a daily basis. I certainly could not take their place. I feel so helpless seeing a friend at this state and not being able to do more. I wish there was a cure. Today, we are at the UCLA hospital, where the doctors will be performing a pallidotomy. I hope it helps in alleviating his pain. I remain hopeful...

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's an Airbus A380!!!

The village where I was raised (and no, I am not referring to a burned-down village in the middle of a rice field in a warn-torn South East Asian country...LOL) is situated very close to the airport in Manila. Our house is directly beneath one of the main flight paths, thus I grew up equating a picture of a plane (specifically a BAC 1-11) with that of an alarm clock that rang during ungodly hours. It's because of this fact, that I am now hard of hearing.
I have always been fascinated by planes. My childhood friends and I would bike to the side of the runways (of an airport not of a fashion show) to watch the various planes take-off and land.

I find it so ironic that now that I live in the U.S., I continue to live close to an airport. In fact, if you take off from LAX and are seated on a window seat on the right side of the plane, you are bound to see me on top of our roof waiving "bon voyage" at you.

Finally, the Airbus A380,
the world's largest passenger airliner to date,
has reached the U.S.A. via New York's JFK and Los Angeles' LAX!
Here are two videos of the arrival at and departure from LAX:

First Arrival of Airbus A380 at LAX

First Departure of Airbus A380 from LAX

My X'mas 2006 Wish List

Wish I could afford to get what everybody wants.
Please share your wish list, in case, I win the lottery before X'mas.

In case you are curious, all I want for X'mas is...
Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men and...

Mac Book or iMac or Mac Mini
Canon PowerShot G7 digital camera
External Portable Harddrive 120GB
Skype certified Webcam -
for free Internet/video calls
to my family & friends abroad.
Digital photo frame
Nike Air Pegasus 
2006 - for my future marathon
A Scarf - black/grey/brown/earth colors
"1,000 Places to See Before You Die"
Rival Chrome Crock Pot 6-QT -
(Yes, I've become that domesticated...LOL)
chocolates, candles, ornaments, etc.

If any of these are over your budget
and you are running out of ideas,
FYI: my shoes size ranges from 7 1/2-8 1/2
(but I only wear Italian designer...LOL),
my waistline is 28" going on 30"(yikes!),
inseam 30".
That's all for now.
No pressure for you to rush out
and get it...LOL
I swear, I've been good...
very very good this year!

I'm dreaming of a "Blue" Christmas

I finally got my "blue" U.S. passport! I was so excited to open the package to see my Naturalization Certificate again. I had to surrender it, soon after I just got it during my oath- taking, so I could immediately apply for my passport. The only downer is that unlike my certificate which has my name spelled perfectly, my passport has my name spelled with an "H"! Grrrr...I wonder who could be that passport agent assigned to my application that was careless enough not to proof-read his/her work? Now I cannot just get up and leave the country if ever I wanted/needed to/could and will have to go through the process of having it corrected.
F+_)(*&^%$#@K!..."they" never make it easy for me.
Please click HERE for the New Travel Requirements involving Americans and/or travel in/out of the U.S.A..

All you have to do is dream

I will admit, for the purpose of this post, I have done drag a total of 8 times in the early 90's. Some were for Halloween, and some were for the mere fun of it and/or providing entertainment during a "happy" party/workshop. During two occasions, I played one of the Dreams, utilizing only newspapers, curtains, and bed sheets for our costumes. At that time, several years ago, not a whole lot of people, including some of my gay friends, were familiar with this Broadway Musical.
This very same time last X'mas 1997, I lost my first job in the U.S. (The sweatshop that was sponsoring me for my work visa, got sued by a former employee, which brought them to the attention of the EDD. By coincidence, it was time for my final papers to be signed and submitted. My employer refused since she wanted to avoid any other dealings with the EDD, therefore jeopardizing my entire labor certification application. After almost 2 years of working for small change, enduring a 2-hour 3-bus ride per way commute, and paying thousands of dollars in immigration lawyer fees...now all of a sudden everything I sacrificed went down the drain.) I was devastated...
Bill decided to cheer me up and surprised me by getting tickets to the show, Dreamgirls. He was not familiar with the show and suddenly wondered why there were so many gay men at the lobby. I couldn't help but laugh and told him to wait after the show. As soon as the opening number started, he immediately understood why. I was cracking up and came out of there feeling better and knew that what happened earlier that day wasn't the end of my world. (Someone could have told me then that 9 years later, this struggle will only be a memory.)
Last year, my company had acquired the much coveted entertainment account of DreamWorks SKG. Just for this account alone, we had to get a bigger office and hire new agents. One of the projects that was in production was Dreamgirls, the movie. Alas, when Paramount finally bought DreamWorks, losing this major account was inevitable. So I guess I couldn't blame my former contacts for not mailing me my promised invitation to the premiere. So much for having connections in Hollywood...LOL.
If you can't wait till X'mas day or for the earlier release at selected theaters, here are two funny clips that may make you wonder if there is an even bigger talent than Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Holiday, or Diana Ross.
Presenting WonderRobbie:

One Night Only

And I Am Telling You (I Am Not Going)

It's official...soy un Americano!

Thanksgiving and Christmas

came early for me this year...

Finally, after 4241 days or
11 years, 7 months, and 9 days,
since I landed on U.S. soil,
with the intention of
permanently residing in the States,
I am now an American citizen!!!

My journey began when my Vietnamese prostitute mother, who managed to escape from the clutches of her Eurasian pimp, decided to give me up , so that I could have the chance for a better life in America. As Saigon burned and fell, she hurriedly handed me to an American G.I. soldier and pleaded to take me on board his helicopter. It proved to be a shaky escape and the turbulent flight caused me to be propelled outside the chopper and I fell out on to the sea. After several hours, I was then rescued by a boat filled with other fleeing refugees. Sadly, our boat sank when she hit an iceberg. I narrowly escaped drowning when someone flung me on top of an over-inflated tire interior. I floated across the ocean, paddling away from Havana hoping to land in Miami...but I somehow ended up in Mexico. Giving up every dollar my father had saved from the sale of our carabaos to some local "coyotes", just so that I could be smuggled by them into the States. They had me crawl my way through a small tunnel underground crossing the U.S.-Mexico border. Along with my newfound Hispanic friends, we ran across the unforgiving desert and fortunately were missed by the U.S. border patrol. Eventually, I made it to East L.A., sold fruits by the freeway, and slowly worked my way to the "waspy" Westside.
Oops...okay...okay...my juiced-up overactive imagination got the best of me and I once again got carried away.

My story was not that dramatic, but nevertheless was almost just as challenging...
As a son of an airline man, I was able to travel for free and visit the U.S.A. from my homeland, the Philippines, practically any summer I wanted. That was what America was to me...just a place to visit relatives and perhaps visit Mickey. I never dreamed or imagined that I would one day want to live in the United States. Had my parents been able to foresee the future, then my Mom could have easily come here and have given birth to me on U.S. soil. My Dad had two opportunities to become a U.S. citizen even before I was born, but never saw any reason to pursue it. When President Clinton signed the bill to make WWII veterans automatic citizens, my Dad decided to go for it for my sake. But alas, I was already over the cut-off age. Had it happened before my 21st birthday, then I would have automatically become a U.S. citizen along with my father.

Unlike millions of altruistic people from other developing countries, who make the sacrifice of leaving their homeland and everything behind, in search of a better life for themselves and their families, the catalyst that drove me to leave the Philippines was pretty lame. At a quarter of a century old, I found myself with a new job and a new love. A little more than four months later, all within the same day, before the first full weekend of the New Year 1995, I found myself all of a sudden jobless and single. I was fired from my job since my performance suffered due to spending so much of my energy on traveling back and forth from Manila to Hong Kong to feed this relationship. I was young and naive and made the mistake of having a long distance affair with someone who apparently was not worthy of my love. I discovered that my relationship had betrayed me by having dangerous liaisons with two other so-called friends of mine. Call it triple jeopardy or my own private soap opera. I was devastated and depressed for the next three months. I then knew that I needed a change of environment to get out of this rut. So I decided to use my very last free international airline ticket to take me across the Pacific Ocean to the U.S.A.. Yes, I was not "fresh off the boat"... I flew, first class delivery, no less...LOL. I was filled with champagne wishes and caviar dreams with only a pocket full of change and a "Hollywood or Bust" kind of attitude. I was full of excitement, even if it meant looking forward to a life without my nanny and maids...LOL

Even as I landed in Hawaii, I never had a clue that the next few years would be the most humbling experience of my lifetime. It was a struggle, but I believe it built my character. I've already given too much information (again), so I will just skip the sordid details. My family and most of my closest friends know what I had to go through to reach this point. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family and all my friends. I would like to especially thank some very special people who were an integral part of this journey: Paul T., who gave me an Aloha welcome during my stay in Hawaii; Carlos G. for taking care of me while I was in San Francisco and giving me the skills to survive in Amerika, such as how to cook rice and Filipino dishes; Jerz, for being like a "mother" away from home; Jesse Z. for showing me how hard work in Amerika pays off; Phillip G. for offering me a sofa to sleep on during my time in San Francisco; my twin cousin Robin and my relatives in Redwood City; Jojo S. for our joint venture in CiBa; my sweetie for giving me the key to my dreams; and last but not the least, my Bill, who saved me in more ways than he will ever know. Oh I guess, I should also thank my former employers at the sweatshops and the immigration lawyers, who gave me the opportunity to contribute to their children's college funds...LOL

My oath taking happened sooner than expected. It was held at the Fairplex in Pomona, California, which is like 50 miles away from home. USCIS, never seems to want to make it easy for me. My appointment was at 8AM. In spite of the fact that we left the house very early, we were late due to inaccurate mapquest directions and over-congested traffic.
I figured that there would be several Filipinos, and therefore could relax at the big possibility that I wasn't the only one running on "Filipino time"...LOL.
There were 3025 people who were going to be naturalized in my batch. The top five biggest ethnic groups who were going to become Americans that morning were from 1. Mexico, 2. Philippines, 3. El Salvador, 4. Iran, 5. Vietnam. Mexico has always beaten the Philippines in this game.
Two days later, Philippines would beat Mexico, only this time it would be in the super featherweight boxing match, where my countryman, Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao knocked-out Erik "El Terrible" Morales III on the third round.
Oh I digressed...anyway...back to me...LOL.
I didn't foresee that it was going to be such an emotional moment for me. When the judge started swearing us in and told all of us that she was keenly aware of how long most of us have waited for this day to come, and the hardships that most of us had to endure and overcome...I started to shed a tear and balanced it on my right cheek and dabbed it as it hit my right dimple...LOL.
Bill, my friend Jojo S., who was visiting from Manila, and his mother, Tita Mely, were there to share this joyous moment with me. I was very happy!
I found it funny when they announced, "You can choose to change your name legally, if it is too long, too hard to pronounce...", and I found it ironic when they continued by saying, "...or if you want it to sound more American." More American!..what is that supposed to mean?...You just told us we were now Americans...LOL.
The lady who handed my certificate was an African American, and she said, "Oh, how nice, you legally changed your Japanese name to that of Puff Daddy's!". I had to tell her, "No madame, I am not Japanese, and that is indeed my real name...I am the original Sean John, since I am older than P. Diddy by 73 days!".
Now that I am an American, I can be arrested for lewd conduct or indecent exposure, and no longer have the fear of being deported...LOL. (just kidding, mother!)
I continue to pray for several family & friends of mine, who are not yet fully settled or do not have their papers in order. Hang in there...your time will come soon...I know it will.
Coming to America made me appreciate and value my Philippine heritage, identity, history, culture, and food, etc., even more.
I will always be proud to be a Filipino and do miss my homeland, but at least, as a citizen of the U.S.A., I now can contribute to the future of the place I now have called home.

Among the sea of U.S. flag-waiving former second-class citizens,

now my fellow Americans

WANTED
Newbie U.S. CitizenWanted: for jury duty.
Wanted: by The Republican Party.
(They need your vote now more than ever.)
Wanted: to bear arms for the misguided war in Iraq.

What's in a name, What's in a title?

I'm experimenting with a new title to my blog, another word play using my name with the concept of TMI, "Too Much Inform-a-Sean". I think it is also apropos for my blog, since my friends have been teasing me for what they deem as a strong propensity for sharing too many details...LOL
For now, I am retiring my original title, "Memoirs of a Gay-Sean", which was a play on words from the novel/movie, "Memoirs of a Geisha". I believed then (and continue to believe) that it is an appropriate title for my blog, since this was about sharing stories of my life anyway. I assumed that everyone, in my circle, at least, would get the joke and see the humor in it. Unfortunately, not all did. The supposedly witty title was to showcase more of my sense of humor, instead of being miscontrued as an advertisement or propoganda of my sexuality. There is certianly more to me than my sexual orientation. I had to realize the hard way that the world is not yet ready for such openness. I had to acquiesce to the fact that I have a lot of people in my milieu, whom I love unconditionally, who have more conservative political and religious leanings. Sharing was for me a means to give joy and to get it back in return, not heartache... no, not heartache. In my younger days, I would automatically rebel, but now that I'm older (and hopefully more mature) , I am learning to conform for the greater good...or is it the lesser evil(?).

Puff Daddy's namesake longs to be a daddy!

In case, you do not know who Puff Daddy is, he is a lot of things. But to me, he is merely the man who uses my name for his hip-hop fashion line, Sean John.
Had I known this during the beginnings of the Internet, I should have immediately registered that domain name. He would then have to pay me "mucho dinero" to use it. Unlike Madonna or Sting, who sued others using domain names with their name on it; he cannot sue me, since it is my real name and besides...I'm several weeks older than him. Damn, I would have had a better chance of getting rich this way than winning the lottery...LOL.
Most hip-hop clothes are so oversized/supersized, and unfortunately for me, P. Diddy's line is no exception. I am not one who is into labels, but had his design style fit mine, I wouldn't mind receiving gifts from JLo's ex. I guess I can always try the accessories...LOL.

***

Since I was 10 years old, helping my sister raise my parents' first grandchild, I knew I was good with children. When my peers were starting to become parents in high school, college, in our early and late 20's, that obviously was not in the cards of my life plan. As I hit my thirties, somehow my body clock started ticking. I started yearning to become a father. I even went out and bought a brand new blender and turkey baster, just in case we found the right surrogate...LOL. My life partner, who was a teacher and coach early in his career, is equally, if not better than me when it comes to kids. Unfortunately, he worries that he may have already passed his best years to share in the physical joys of fatherhood. Eventually, it did not matter to us if the child was biologically one of ours, since there are so many precious children who need a loving home. When I hear about kids being born to couples/families with a unstable home, I more so feel we deserve to be given that chance.

We may never be ready for that possible opportunity or if that opportunity will ever be even given to us. But I do know one thing. I will make sure I will be do my best to be a good father to that blessing.

***

GLMA Hails Groundbreaking Report Finding That
Children Benefit When Their Same Sex Parents' Relationships
Are Legally Recognized.
Report appears in July issue of Pediatrics,
the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

source
c/o Dr. Constantine Azarcon M.D.

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

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